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Keeping Our Children's Hearts: Raising Teens ? Part 2

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By Contributing Writer, Candace

If you missed Part 1, you can click here to catch up.

In Part 1, I shared with you the joys of raising our teen girls.? I think it?s important to talk about the joys of teens because often our culture?says that the teen years will be difficult and should be feared.? You?ve heard it before, ?Just wait until they?re teens!?? So encouraging to new parents, right?

If you are parents to little ones, don?t be afraid!? Pray that God will give you the wisdom to shepherd your children into God-fearing teens, and then adults.? If you?re parents to teens already, enjoy them.? Talk with them and?pray for them continually!? ?If you have a teen who has rebelled, pray that God would turn his/her heart around, and trust that He is in control and?has a purpose for their lives.

No matter how perfect we may perceive a family to be, we all have the same thing in common.??It?s?called our sin nature.? None of us are immune from it, so we can all expect some tough spots along the way.

I?ll share what we?ve learned?thus far and focus on those day-to-day tough spots: those days when hormones are getting the best of them, or they question your decisions, or think you?re being unfair.? ? Here are some practical ways to deal with those tough spots:

Be understanding.

Hormones can get the best of all of us. But hopefully, as we get older and mature in Christ, we?re able to exercise more self-control.? We need to be compassionate when our teen doesn?t wake up?on the right side of the bed. Just like I want my kids to extend grace to me when I?m not in the greatest of moods, I must extend the same grace to them. This doesn?t excuse crossing the line of?disrespect?we must all exhibit Christ-like hearts, but we can give grace on those hormonally off days.? I?m so thankful my kids love and forgive me on my off days.

Put on then, as God?s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience?? Colossians 3:12

Pick your battles wisely.

I don?t know about you, but I?ve always hated this term! After all, I?m the parent, and I certainly don?t want my kids battling me so much that I must start picking which ones to fight. However, there are situations when I might not agree with my teen, yet, their desire, method,?or request is not wrong or sinful (obviously, sin must be dealt with).

For example, my younger teen loves to cook! I am grateful! However, she cooks rather slowly and makes quite a mess while doing it. I used to walk in the kitchen and either ask her why she wasn?t finished yet, or criticize the mess. I began to see the discouragement on her face and realized I was worried more about the mess than her service to our family! I decided to just stay out of her way and let her do her thing in her own time and in her own way. She knows that when she is finished, she must clean up. She?s also learned how much time she needs to complete a meal or bake something and is careful to allot herself that time.? She?s a fabulous cook!

If I had continued to oversee?her?in the kitchen, critiquing her every move, she would see meal time as a burden and not a joy.? As long as?sin is not involved, and it won?t hurt others, be willing to let some things go.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.? James 3:17

Compromise.

As we?re raising our children, we want them to?develop intelligent minds that can think for themselves.? This is good. We want our children to think for themselves and question things that don?t seem right.? Until that is?.they start questioning US!? I often laugh during these times, thinking that I miss when they were little?when they shared all?our same opinions and thought?we hung the moon.? But when we raise them to be logical thinkers, they enjoy debating quite a bit.? Our family rule has always been that if you don?t agree with a decision or don?t understand something, you are free to respectfully ask questions or state your case.? Once the?debate turns heated, it?s over.? One thing we must not do is find ourselves arguing with our teens (we?have been?guilty of this).? But when a respectful debate ensues, we are happy to listen, and have often compromised based on their ability to articulate their position.

When I say compromise, I am not talking about compromising God?s word, our values, or standards.?? These compromises may?come in the form of: staying up later on a school night for a particular reason, or extending curfew a bit because of a special outing or function, or agreeing on a fair amount of time to spend on the computer, iTouch, video games,?etc.? Sometimes, we as parents, can be so quick to say no, or stand firm?on our black and white rules, that we?re not willing to just listen and?try to compromise.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.? Matthew 5:9

They will make mistakes.

This has been a difficult area for me, personally. I made so many mistakes as a teenager, that I want to do whatever I can to prevent mine from making the same ones. This partially entails me being open about my teenage years so that they understand where I?m coming from. However, I tend to take that into areas that aren?t that big a deal and expect them to heed my every warning.? I?ve been known to get offended when they don?t take my word for it.? But I?m learning that there are some areas in which they must learn on their own.? And that?s okay!

Our teens will make mistakes just like we did when we were their age?.and still do.? But we must weigh those?decisions against real sin.? We certainly don?t want to send them out ill-equipped and expect them to always make the right decisions, but if they have been equipped, then allow them to make decisions that you may not necessarily see as wise, so that they can learn from them.

Though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.? Psalm 37:24

Be quick to forgive.

No matter how many times we may be unhappy with each other, or have spats, we are always quick to forgive.? There?s nothing worse than a parent who stays mad at you for days on end, or treats you like they don?t love you because you made a mistake. We all make mistakes. Forgive quickly and restore fellowship between you and your teen.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.?

Ephesians 4:32

Allow the Holy Spirit to work in them.

When you?ve raised your child?in the Lord, and they have a relationship with Him, there comes a point when we have to trust that the Holy Spirit will lead and guide them.? Easier said than done.? There was no harder time to practice this than when Cheyenne and Nathan were courting and engaged.? For us, though we viewed Cheyenne as a mature adult, this was our first experience down this road.? On one hand, we trusted their intentions and commitment towards purity.? On the other hand, temptation can get the best of us, especially when we?re young and very in love!

We did have fairly strict guidelines in place during their courtship, but my husband brought much needed balance to the process.? He was much better at discerning situations that were?necessary to allow the Holy Spirit to guide, and which ones required more parental guidance for our daughter.

But there are many situations that our teens will face that will allow the Holy Spirit to guide.? Teens are surrounded by a?general decline of moral standards, and we can?t follow them around every second or keep them locked up.? This is when we must trust God, and the work He does through the Holy Spirit!

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.? John 14: 26

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Experts say science lacking on 9/11 and cancer

NEW YORK (AP) ? Call it compassionate, even political. But ... scientific? Several experts say there's no hard evidence to support the federal government's declaration this month that 50 kinds of cancer could be caused by exposure to World Trade Center dust.

The decision could help hundreds of people get payouts from a multibillion-dollar World Trade Center health fund to repay those ailing after they breathed in toxic dust created by the collapsing twin towers on Sept. 11, 2001.

But scientists say there is little research to prove that exposure to the toxic dust plume caused even one kind of cancer. And many acknowledge the payouts to cancer patients could take money away from those suffering from illnesses more definitively linked to Sept. 11, like asthma and laryngitis.

"To imagine that there is strong evidence about any cancer resulting from 9/11 is naive in the extreme," said Donald Berry, a biostatistics professor at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.

Yet this month, Dr. John Howard, who heads the federal agency that researches workplace illnesses, added scores of common and rare cancers to a list that had previously included just 12 ailments caused by dust exposure.

Lung, skin, breast and thyroid cancer were among those added; of the most common types of cancer, only prostate cancer was excluded.

"We recognize how personal the issue of cancer and all of the health conditions related to the World Trade Center tragedy are to 9/11 responders, survivors and their loved ones," Howard said in a June 8 statement.

He declined requests for an interview with The Associated Press. His decision, based on an advisory panel's recommendation, will go through a public comment period and additional review before it's final.

Several factors about the decision by the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health raised eyebrows in the scientific community:

? Only a few of the 17 people on the advisory panel are experts at tracking cancer and weighing causal risks; they were outnumbered by occupational physicians and advocates for Sept. 11 rescue and cleanup workers.

? Exposure to a cancer-causing agent doesn't necessarily mean someone will develop cancer. And if they do, conventional medical wisdom says it generally takes decades. But the panel agreed to cover those diagnosed with cancer within just a few years of the disaster.

?The panel members favored adding cancers if there was any argument to include them. They added thyroid cancer because a study found a higher-than-expected number of cases in firefighters who responded to 9/11, even though thyroid cancer is generally linked to genetics or high doses of radiation. The same study found a lower-than-expected number of lung cancers, but it was added because it was considered a plausible consequence of inhaling toxins at the site.

Even lawyers for the first responders were stunned: They had expected to see only certain blood and respiratory cancers put on the list.

"I understand the urge to want to compensate and reward the heroes and victims of that tragedy," said Dr. Alfred Neugut, a Columbia University oncologist and epidemiologist. But "if we're using medical compensation as the means to that, then we should be scientifically rigorous about it."

When the twin towers collapsed, much of lower Manhattan was enveloped in a dense cloud of pulverized glass and cement that left people in the area gasping for air. Fires smoldered in the rubble pile for weeks. Many workers labored in the ash wearing only flimsy paper masks, and went home coughing up black phlegm. Years later, some were still experiencing mild respiratory problems.

After Sept. 11, the government established the Victim Compensation Fund, which paid out about $7 billion for the nearly 3,000 deaths from the attacks and for injuries, including some rescuers with lung problems.

In late 2010, Congress set up two programs for anyone exposed to the rubble, smoke and dust at ground zero: rescue and cleanup workers and others who worked or lived in the area. Cancer was initially excluded, but Congress ordered periodic reviews based on the latest scientific evidence.

One $1.55 billion program is for treatment for any illness determined to be related to ground zero. The second $2.78 billion fund is to compensate people who suffered economic losses or a diminished quality of life because of their illness. Both programs expire in 2016, but could be extended.

How many people might apply isn't clear. In the decade since the attacks, about 60,000 people have enrolled in the two health programs for those who lived or worked within the disaster zone of lower Manhattan. Many have signed up for medical monitoring, but around 16,000 have been getting treatment annually.

Every new illness added to the list means less money for the group as a whole, especially when dealing with major diseases like cancer, acknowledged Sheila Birnbaum, the special master handling applications to the compensation fund.

Registration for the compensation program only began in October. How the money will be divvied up, or whether it will be enough, isn't clear, Birnbaum said. People with the gravest health problems would get the largest amounts, with cancer payments likely among the most sizable.

Applicants could qualify for treatments and payments as long as they and their doctors make a plausible case that their disease was connected to the caustic dust.

But is Sept. 11 really to blame for every cancer case?

Overall, roughly 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will get cancer over their lifetimes. And generally, the more you look for cancer, the more cases you find. People worried that they got sick from the World Trade Center attacks are likely going to doctors more than other people. So some slow-growing cancers that started before 9/11 but were found afterward could end up being blamed on the fallout.

Reggie Hilaire was a rookie police officer when the hijacked planes flew into the World Trade Center. He spent the initial weeks after the attacks patrolling Harlem, miles away from the disaster zone, then was sent to Staten Island, where he spent weeks at a city landfill sorting through rubble and looking for human remains.

At the landfill, he wore a Tyvek suit, boots, gloves and a respirator to protect him. Months later, he also worked as a guard near ground zero, wearing no protective gear but never working on the debris pile itself.

Hilaire didn't develop the hacking cough or other problems experienced by those who inhaled big doses of soot. But he worried about his health, periodically visiting doctor's offices and clinics.

In 2005, at age 34, a lump showed up in his neck. He was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and successfully treated. Months later, he got more bad news: Doctors noticed he was anemic and investigated, leading to diagnosis of a second cancer ? multiple myeloma, a blood cancer normally seen in the elderly.

Since roughly half of people with the diagnosis never get sick from it, doctors monitor a patient's condition rather than put them through chemotherapy and other difficult treatments ? which is the case with Hilaire, still on the force. His medical bills have been covered by insurance, and to date, he hasn't applied for compensation from the federal fund.

Doctors don't know what causes multiple myeloma, but say genetics plays a role and that it is more common in black men. Hilaire, who is black, is convinced that toxins at ground zero are to blame.

"I've had cancer twice since 9/11, and I'm 41 years old," he said. "It would be some coincidence."

The U.S. government traditionally has been cautious about labeling things as cancer-causing agents, choosing to wait for multiple studies to confirm and reconfirm such a conclusion.

The famed 1964 surgeon general's report that permanently tied smoking to lung cancer came out more than a decade after a series of studies showed the link. The Environmental Protection Agency has taken decades to decide about other carcinogens. Howard's agency, NIOSH, has a conservative reputation as well.

But with this decision, Howard broke from that history.

"I think this was a special case," said Richard Clapp, a professor emeritus of environmental health at Boston University.

No question, bad stuff was in the air and on the ground. Asbestos, lead, mercury, PCBs and dioxins were all found at the smoldering World Trade Center site for months after the terror attacks. Dioxins have been associated with promoting the growth of some pre-existing cancerous cells, Clapp noted.

Previous studies have shown some of the contaminants ? like asbestos, arsenic and soot, for example ? have led to cancers in workers exposed to hefty amounts for long periods of time.

The fallout was a terrible mixture of toxins with significant potential to harm people, said Elizabeth Ward, an American Cancer Society vice president and cancer researcher who headed the advisory panel that made the recommendation to Howard.

"This was a really unique exposure," said Ward. Based on the best available evidence, the panel decided it was likely that people could get cancer, she said, and that it was better to offer help now than when it was too late.

Indeed, Howard and Ward have a number of supporters in the public health and scientific community who think it was the wisest decision, given the large human need.

"I think for Dr. Howard, it's a very tough decision to make. I'm sure he knew that whatever he said, people are going to complain about it," said Daniel Wartenberg, an epidemiology professor at the University of Medicine & Dentistry of New Jersey.

"In my view, I hope he is wrong. I hope no one gets sick," he added.

A mere two years after 9/11, former New York City police detective John Walcott, 47, was successfully treated for a common type of leukemia that doesn't hit most people until about age 60.

Walcott arrived at the World Trade Center just after the second tower fell and spent months searching for human remains ? on the pile, in empty buildings nearby, and later at the city landfill where the rubble had been taken.

He was so sure his cancer would eventually be covered by the federal program, he dropped his negligence lawsuit against the city last winter, as was required to remain eligible for the fund.

He is well aware that some scientists question whether illnesses like his were really caused by ground zero toxins. But he has no doubts.

"My heart told me I got it from there," he said.

___

Online:

Howard's statement about the program, and the advisory panel's report: http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/topics/wtc/stacpetition001.html

___

Medical Writer Mike Stobbe reported from Atlanta.

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The Principles of Paper, Direct Marketing, and the New Age

Published on Tuesday, June 12th, 2012
By Pronto Post Editorial Board for Pronto

?WHAT?!? the cynic wails. ?You still use mail and paper products for business? Are you still living in the 70s? C?mon! Get with the program. Digital is the only way to go.?

As a direct marketer, there?s a real good chance you?ve either heard this or a variation of it in the last 15 years or so. You?re at a business convention, a party, or even a family gathering and someone who comes off as more knowledgeable than you gives you the third degree once you tell him or her what sort of work you are in. He or she feels what you do is inferior and that you need to get ?with it? if you?re going to be any kind of success in today?s world.

To be as fair as possible, and without giving these folks too much credit, they do make a point. The world isn?t what it once was. Screens are everywhere, analog is out, and people are trying to harness technology to see how they can become successful. Unless you have cornered a special niche market, the old business days of typewriters, door-to-door canvassing, and telegram communication are gone. Sad but true. You have to be knowledgeable to a certain degree regarding digital technology today if you are going to be successful in any business, whether you want to or not.

But that doesn?t mean that all hope for past formats is lost, especially if you are a direct marketer using direct mail. In fact, there are enough economical options for you to put your direct marketing and paper-based marketing campaigns on the cusp of some great successful ventures.

These days, it?s all about the figures. Saving money is the name of the game, facilitated by a few years of tough economic circumstances. In a way, it?s positive. If you are going to be in direct marketing, the tough times of today force you to be on your game in terms of money. This requires you to budget accordingly. If you are printing material, you have to watch the high-volume printing to see what your budget allows and how much direct marketing material you can produce. When doing large-sized direct marketing material like catalogues and brochures, you have to make sure you make them a tight unit?good copy, hard sales pitches, sent out to the appropriate clients, etc. Knowing prices for on-demand printing or other related processes, it?s good to scout around for the services that offer the most competitive rates. Tough times call for tough action and direct marketers can use this to make their ventures lean and mean.

With costs comes the tracking of results. Since you are sinking a lot of cash into this, however well-controlled, you have to make sure that you are getting the money back on your investment. You have to take the time to see what your response rates from your mail products are to see if direct mail is worth your while or how you can improve on it to make it a more effective marketing strategy. With most direct mail procedures, you measure response rates based on the orders you receive from clients and how people respond to your flyers, brochures, and other print material. Unlike a lot of digital marketing formats, tracking response rates from the public is easy and you can see firsthand with hard numbers how many people are coming to the table from your direct mail material. The top quality of the product you send out should lead to your business getting greater amounts of green paper in return.

Until the last door is shut on the last post office and the last mailbox is tossed into the garbage, direct mail using paper products will still have some life. As a direct marketer, you can still use it and, if you work the right channels correctly, there is no reason why success will not find you. Long live the tried, tested and true.

Need solutions to your direct-mail problems? With over 30 years of experience, Pronto Post has the solutions you need to make your direct mail more successful. Contact Pronto Post by e-mail at fulfillment@prontopost.com, visit our web site at www.prontopost.com or phone (866) 834-2153 toll-free.

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"Scream" star Arquette has bar mitzvah in Israel

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Don't Look Now But You're Being Watched

If you?ve ever felt like that crusty old oil portrait is watching you as you move about the room, you may not be totally off yer rocker. Researchers at Rutgers University have just published an intriguing optical illusion that shows despite our best efforts to understand the world around us, our brains insist on making assumptions that sometimes mess with our heads? or is it our eyes? Oh, whatever. You know what I?m getting at?

The optical illusion is a new twist on an established illusion ? that of the hollow mask. In this traditional trick, a hollow mask that is rotated as though shaking its head ?no? appears to move in the opposite direction from the way it is actually being turned. In the latest iteration of this classic trick, a concave mask was coupled with a convex torso and vice versa to see what the brain would make of the situation. The result:

The researchers dubbed it ?The Exorcist Illusion? because of the creepy way the neck pivots. I can?t weigh in on the veracity of this claim, having censored horror flicks from my life after losing two weeks straight of sleep following the release of Silence of the Lambs (the basement chase sequence with night goggles?! Don?t remind me!) But regardless of what they call it, the researchers propose two possible explanations for why the illusion works.

The first explanation has to do with a fundamental assumption our brains make about what we are looking at. Since the beginning of sight, we have been accustomed to seeing mostly convex shapes ? our prey, our predators, obstacles in our path are almost all convex (I say almost because you undoubtedly just said, ?Wait, what about a hole you could fall into?!? Almost all, yes.) And, since light in our world streams in from above, we have learned that in general, the lightest part of a convex object should be at its top with the shadow falling below. Scientific illustrators (and other visual artists, of course) know this because in order to achieve the illusion of 3-dimensionality on a 2-dimensional surface, we must use the assumptions our brains make to trick our viewers into seeing dimension where none exists (on a flat piece of paper).

This principle is beautifully illustrated by this classic illusion of two artist?s palettes. The palette on the left appears to have convex paint wells. The one on the right seems to be turned over so the wells are concave. In reality, they are the same image, just rotated 180 degrees. If you don?t believe me, print this page and turn it back and forth 180 degrees to see that the image on the left always looks convex whereas the image on the right always looks concave. Why does our brain perceive these two identical images differently? For the simple reason that we expect the light to be coming from the top, and as such, we read the paint wells with the highlights at the top left as bulging towards us while the ones with the highlights in the lower left recede.

The competing theory the researchers propose for their Exorcist Illusion?s success (and for what it?s worth, the one that seems more believable to me) has to do with another concept artists know well: foreshortening. You understand foreshortening so intuitively that chances are, if I show you the following postcard and ask what shape the tire is, you?ll say?

Circular, right? If anyone says elliptical, then props to you, you have an artist?s eye. But for the majority of us, our knowledge that tires are round trumps what we actually see, which is an ellipse. Likewise, you have enough knowledge of the world to know that ?no parking? signs are rectangular despite the fact that the one represented in the image is actually a trapezoid. Foreshortening is this principle that objects appear shorter than they actually are when viewed in perspective. So a circle gets squashed into an ellipse, a rectangle turns into a trapezoid. But because you know that tires are round and parking signs are rectangular, when you see them as ellipses and trapezoids in perspective, your brain translates this to mean they are tilted.

In the Exorcist Illusion, when the masks and torsos are rotated, their widths become foreshortened ? they appear less wide than if they were facing you full-on. If viewing a convex torso, the portion of the torso rotating towards you becomes more visible as the other half becomes more obscured. But a concave mask will do just the opposite ? as it is turned, more and more of the far side of the mask will become visible as the closer side gets more obscured. Your brain reads the fact that it can see more of the receding half of the mask as evidence that it is moving towards you. And voila, the illusion.

Special thanks to Professor Thomas Papathomas, lead/corresponding author on the Exorcist Illusion, for drawing my attention to the illusion and for sharing the video and the paper describing it. The Exorcist Illusion won top-ten honors for 2012 Best Illusion of the Year contest. For more mind-bending illusions, check out the other BIOTY finalists.

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Cooling Buddha

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